There’s great imbalance in this universe... Cuz not everyone
is happy, satisfied, even ok... Theres always someone looking back at a
decision they took, theres always an if... What if, that day I hadn’t said yes,
or I hadn’t said no... What if that day I had just said fuck off...
I believe in multiple parallel universes, there has to be,
theres no other way this balance can be maintained... It’s like gravity... and
atmospheric pressure... The reason why your blood hasn’t burst out of your skin
yet is because of the pressure your blood puts against your skin... it’s around
the same as the atmosphere’s pressure... So that longing, that right decision
when you made a wrong one, that slap across someone’s face you are keeping in
check, has already occurred in the other universe... and maybe in another one
the conditions are exactly the opposite.. Im in the place of the person I want
to slap and that person is the one who wants to slap me...
Maybe, when you take a decision, a part of you gets detached
and does that thing you chose not to do... It’s like a part of your spirit, and
that world exists alongside ours... similar to that in Lyra and Wills world...
I sooo want Will’s Knife, not for anything else but to put my head into that
world... and seek for that person who wants to slap me and exchange him for the
person in our world..
That moment when you’re talking your crazy shit with your
friend (a girl), realizing that’s exactly the crazy shit you want to talk about
to your future boyfriend, and both of you getting upset over the fact that the
other is not a guy? Yeah it probably happens to two guys in the next universe...
There probably sitting at the same place you are as well...
So that day when you chose to stay at home and not go out
with friends for drinks? Yeah, in the 1st parallel universe, you
went on ahead and reached back home feeling normally fuzzy... In the 2nd
parallel universe you got completely wasted and passed out, conscious of
nothing, to wake up with no memory, in a different room from the one in your
last memory and still feeling fuzzy and
swearing never to have anything to do with lemon again… (That’s and awesome
feeling you wake up with actually, Cuz you feel indifferent to everything you
ever felt for in your life, loosing of maybe something, maybe someone and
definitely your mind)
So that day when you decided to never talk about upsetting
things again, never wonder about all the what if’s, and fail miserably? In the
other universe, you wouldn’t worry about any of them... But you would have had
other regrets... That you actually went ahead in the first place, the reason why
you did stuff that you did... Those consequences you avoided in your world...
But are you happy? Is the non-happening of those consequences something you want
to settle for?
Choice is the worst thing ever... Why can’t there be a way
between? Why does it always have to be a Yes or No? Why is life so stubborn?
Why can’t life bend a bit more to my liking? Why is life like that old oak tree
that refuses to bend in the strong wind that’s your wills and wants? Didn’t we
read that the old oak breaks in a storm? When’s my storm gonna break you, my
tree of life? On another parallel, is there a bigger storm coming up? (Monkey
with hands on eyes emote)
Theres a very thin line between stubbornness and stupidity… It’s
very often that the thing your being stubborn about turn’s stupid, sometimes
within a few hours of you beginning to be stubborn... Everyone around you realizes
that you’re being stupid... But your bullheaded-ness doesn’t allow you to see
it... What do I do then? I wait... hoping you realise your being stubborn is
stupid... So what do I do to you, Life? I wait... until you realise that you’re
being stupid too…
P.S. I do not regret, as much as I show it, or don’t... And
of all, you will remain one of my favorite What If’s…
