The cursor blinks!! On a blank page when you’re staring down
at the screen, in the middle of the night (actually wee hours of the morning),
in between a stock/ cash verification on the last day of the dumb fucked up
financial year.. Yes your brain works, albeit sluggish and you need to use
autocorrect more often.. So where was I? Yeah, the cursor blinks.. I stared at the screen for a whole 5 minutes..
That’s rare.. For a person who cannot stop thinking, who cannot stop finding
reasons for most of the things that don’t matter..
You thought I’d stop talking about myself Cuz it’s the
middle of the night and Im working?? Tough Luck.. Im still the same egotistical
person who is trying to find the answer.. Like hitchhikers guide to the galaxy (Can
you believe I haven’t read it yet? Keep forgetting to get it at the bookstore) the answer may be 42 but is it the right
answer to my question? What was my question again? Yeah.. Para que lavida… Its
moments like these, in the middle of the night (it’s almost dawn now) that I realize,
It’s all me.. The reason my life is like this is because a friend rightly
pointed out.. I cannot say no (Exact words? She: You knoe to say No? Me: No :P)
I cannot say no to anything anyone asks me.. Am I cursed?
Like in Ella enchanted where she is given the bane of obedience, Am I born with
the bane of not saying no? And mind you.. Not saying No doesn’t mean I always
say yes.. They are not mutually exclusive.. There’s this grey area that exists
too.. And although I have tried to move most of my yes’s to the grey area, it
still doesn’t mean no. And yes.. most would be an exaggeration..
Like that time at our neighbor’s farmhouse.. Where there was
this cute kitten.. After a while of cooing when the kitten settled around us,
someone suggested I pick it up.. And I did, and not being used to picking up
random animals, I dropped it on someone’s drink.. (Poor someone, the kitten
only lost one of its nine lives, but that somebody lost the last peg poured out
from the bottle)
Like the other time when someone dared me to kiss a tree..
Yes I did kiss a tree.. In the middle of a busy street and yes people stared at
me as if I had run away from the mental asylum a few kms away..
Like this time when someone asked me to stay the night for stock
take.. I didn’t say no.. And here I am writing this out between two cash
verifications and listening to the early birds chirping.. And here you are
having to read this..
While Im trying to remember how Ella overcame her boon, all I
remember is that it had a happy ending… And the happy ending in this case? Will
there be one? I hope it’s soon as I can’t bear to bear it anymore.. Maybe the happy ending in this case will be 9
hours of uninterupted sleep..
Another dumb question.. why does a cursor blink? It could
just stay there stationary, not blinking and it would still serve its purpose,
wont it? If you really wanted to differentiate it from a normal stationary
letter, you could have just created a new alphabet.. rather than just use a I/
Line/ 1 in some fonts..
But then again, I guess I’m rambling now.. Time for another
cash verification..
PS: You think I'm not busy cuz of my posts? thats cuz I'm multitasking... ie giving up sleep and food... And yes its absolutely worth it..
