Let There be Light

Monday (19th) was not another holiday.. Although it would have been the cherry atop this diwali week.. ^^Thanks to one man, this weekend was a complete shutdown. With no shops open, hardly anyone venturing out on to the street, and a voluntary(?) house arrest… poor (pun intended) guys who got Swedish house mafia tickets.. What’s it with Mumbai? Why does every damn concert get cancelled?


But I do admire the man.. The power to bring an entire city (and not just any aira gaira one, but THE city) to a grinding halt… That too with one breath (albeit, his last). That is something… It takes courage to reach where he is (was) and also confidence.. With the flashes news channels played of his life as soon as the news spread, one picture stood out… He standing in front of an ocean of men (and women).. With the old mic from our Independence days… And a great level of confidence in his eyes..Like it was his right to be there.. And be heard.. People are just another accessory.. And no matter what happens, no matter what he says, what he wants will happen… Confidence is contagious.. And it’s exactly that what he transfers during his speeches, his talks.. His confidence that whatever he says, whatever he does is right.. When consequences happen, that will be taken care of too..

The house arrest was for many reasons… Many out of respect gave away a whole day of their lives to him.. And many cuz they weren’t given an option… There was a curtain of gloom around, cut only by the sound of police sirens and empty streets that aren’t found even in the dead of the night (that’s regular for me btw.. dead of the night). But there were utilities.. Thank god! The Electricity Board and Water board dint cut out electricity and water.. Imagine this gloom with darkness? There would have been many nervous breakdowns then.. (No news channels also! (extra emphasis on also, although it’s wrong grammar)). Darkness only adds to fear.. Or in many cases leads to fear.. Why? Cuz theres no light (yeah right.. chappal uthake maro mujhe)

Because you can’t see anything.. And compared to touch and feel, it is our sight that reassures us of the things around us. And what you see is what reassures us.. Like empty roads with people trudging home in the middle of the night with laptop bags slung over their shoulder.. And no animals around.. Wild or small or furry scurrying around.. At least you get to see them scurrying around.. Unlike in places where there is no street lights.. Like it was in Kerala, when I went over last month.. Load shedding at 9 in the night.. Street lights only on main streets (Which do not work in case of load shedding), not even on a national highway for god sakes.. A national shame that is, isn’t it? A major highway connecting major cities and no street lights.. No wonder any time I tell anyone Ive just reached home in the wee hours of the morning, they are surprised… Cuz nothing moves there after 7… Not even the furry ones.. Cuz they are afraid of the dark as well… Fear is something that makes you do stupid things.. Makes you emotional.. Makes you cold.. Like in Pi.. Moving all water cans to a safer place, only so that a big fish (pun intended, again) destroy it all.. That movement was epiphanic.. That something so beautiful, so touching can come along one day and destroy the very substance of our existence.. (I kept waiting for paradise to play!! And it didn’t). On a side note, I loved Pi.. The fact that the tiger could have been his own alter ego.. And his discovery of all religions.. Although it doesn’t mean that you need to follow multi religions to survive the storm.. It just means you have to be extremely lucky!!

This past month was full of revelations.. From No street Lights on National Highways, Courage, Fear plus Benevolence.. Having the opportunity to spend the day with underprivileged children for an employer arranged program was extremely satisfying.. As well as surprising.. So many of them were brilliant.. And so many of them had the potential to do great things.. All they lacked was resources.. Something we have enough of.. But yearn for more… Sometimes I feel that this month has changed my priorities.. From actually reaching a stage where I could do something for those kids, I want to leave everything right here… Right now and help them. You think your hands are tied.. You think you have responsibilities.. You also know that all this is crap.. False promises just because you don’t want to move your arse..You’re extremely happy in your seat in the corner office and you don’t want to move.. You have enough challenges you face and you don’t wanna face any more.. But the happiness those kids had just cuz they got a brand new paint set.. That won’t get you to move your arse? Just donating money may help them loads.. but not as much as helping them network.. Giving them a new friend.. Giving them a new face to look forward to.. A small thing like bursting crackers with them on Diwali nite, when you enjoy an hour with your family and friends.. share it with them.. And give them a whole life of Diwali memories.. And a triumph over the darkness that is loneliness..

Bring Light on to their lives too…

Philosophy and Physics

Components in an atom, as we learnt a really long time ago, are in a constant state of motion. Positively charged protons, electrically nuetral Neutrons, bound together by electromagnetic force, surrounded by a cloud of negetively charged electrons. Each element has at least one isotope with an unstable nucleus that can undergo radioactive decay. This can result in a transmutation that changes the number of protons or neutrons in a nucleus (yep wiki for you) hence determining the charge of an atom.


Why the wiki? Again philosophy.. (Yeah I think too much). Even the smallest particle in the world (yep I know.. It is not the smallest particle now, but I’m old school, ie. I don’t wanna learn anymore physics) reflects our life, our world in such a major way.Whats the difference between an atom and an organization or a team. Positively charged protons and electrically nuetral nuetrons, That’s what we all always are. And the negetive cloud of people always hanging around us.. trying to get us down, or in some cases even trying to get us out. When positively charged protons are more in number than the neutral nuetrons, the atom is positively charged and vice versa ( Don’t correct me if I’m wrong, Or the point im trying to prove will go all haywire)

 

So when positively charged Protons (people who know me know who I am talking about) undergo radioactive decay and decide to leave the atom behind (especially protons who are heavily positive, and I am stressing on the plural) the charge of the atom becomes negetive. Another consequence? There’s more space for existing neutrons and protons to move around. Hence increasing restlessness among components. And in their constant state of motion, bump into other protons and neutrons hence resulting in increasing radioactive decay of the components left behind. Us neutrally charged neutrons are in process of loosing isotopes and becoming negetively charged. Or loosing our minds in other words.


Yet another consequence? The negetive cloud is building strength, compressing us even more, Suffocating us even more. (No, this is not intended for anyone specific. Even though people who know me may get ideas, really no)


Transmutation is rule of charge in atoms, and change is the only thing constant in life. I now totally get sheldons (yeah i know, and yes i mean the character) take on life, particle physics explains so much more than just physics.


On the bright side, the job market is picking up. Time to start getting restless again.

fighting dragons with you..

Why do people have friends? For companionship? Time Pass? Freaking out? Well, to do all those things you can’t do with anyone else… Like going to that shady movie.. or just to spend time away from ur routine life.. Evidently we make friends to use them.. We use them just as they use us… All friends come with benefits.. And it’s those benefits that make them our friends... Like if you take me for example... I’m the one who knows a lot of pretty useless things, things that not many others know.. Maybe because I’m one of the few who reads only quirky things in the newspaper, so that’s me.. There are so many people I’d like to say to, that I’m not Google.. Sorry! A collector and distributor of quirky info.. People use me for when they need entertainment. No wonder their whatsapp texts start with I’m bored.. As if I’m Vidya Balan (Entertainment main nahi, for god’s sake!!).. Plus I am the ear for all sorrow.. People pour their heart out to me.. Expecting advice from me.. As if my advice is gonna change their already made decision. While that’s me, my friends are a quirky lot too.. Like one I turn to for borrowing books.. Or getting info about books.. Another I turn to, for solving complicated VAT/ Service tax problems.. Another I turn to for advice on where my life should be headed.. And another I pour my heart out to.. Another to crib about work, working hours and seniors, one to just talk to.. When there’s nothing better to do.. See how I use them.. All to my personal benefits.. Can no friend be without benefits? There's no relationship without give and take is it? Again the question why do we have friends? To gain perspective could be one perspective.. Everyone has a different perspective on different things.. Everything is unique and so is perspective.. Collecting everyone’s perspective just to ensure that your perspective isn’t changed or shaken.. Isn’t that what happens on all those late night phone calls and whatsapp texts? No your right.. It’s more of useless gossip of who’s dating whom and which one did what.. But in some way or other we learn from our friends.. They form a major part of our environment and their thoughts, their talks help shape our talks and our thoughts.. Like that much needed push, when you see your friend doing better than you, or maybe that’s just me.. Egocentric as always :P On a side note I read something interesting that day.. Instead of aiming for the goal, aim for the experience. you can enjoy the journey more than actually achieving the goal, because once you reach the goal, the journey has ended. People you meet along the way can become friends for the rest of your life. Enjoy the journey. Don't be in such a hurry to "get there". Sit down and have a conversation with someone new as much as possible. You may think you have met all the friends you need in life but there is always more to experience. It could be a story or a business idea. Take five minutes and get to meet a new person no matter where you go (Networking all over again :P) Instead of focusing getting to your goal, focus on getting as many experiences and learn from as many people you can on the way to get there. In that way you won’t be left with withdrawal symptoms when you do finally get there.. You will have many experiences and even more importantly many people with whom you have shared these experiences and also great long lasting relationships.. Something similar to what Paulo Coelho says in pilgrimage(i love this one) When you are moving towards an objective, it is very important to pay attention to the road. It is the road that enriches us as we walk its length. (no, the whole thing is not what I read.. It stops in the paragraph before this one) So back to why friends.. in essence our friends are friends not by our choice.. They are our friends by chance.. I agree once they chance upon us, we have the power to choose but the meeting of people, on the road that you have set? That’s all serendipity. And how your friendship is with them is yours to choose as well.. Like I don’t have that set of friends I can go for a long holiday with, to a faraway place(I regret it sometimes.. but not as much as I regret not having a holiday). Nor a set that will stand by me when I go to get my tattoo.. But I’m sure that they will be there for me later.. When I wake up post tattoo which I won’t be satisfied with (As usual) to tell me, “I told you so”. So to all my friends.. Thanks for being a part of my life.. Thanks for choosing me to be a part of your road.. And though I may blog more than I get to speak to you, I’m sure that when we speak next, we will pick up exactly from where we left our conversation at. Thanks for being there why my side when I fight my dragons... And to those of my friends at the stage where we’ve got nothing more to talk about.. Thanks for being there, just one text/call away.. afterall to pick up from a friends status messageThe better you know someone the less there is to say, or maybe there’s less that needs to be said. PS. You find my posts too narcissistic? Well really, it’s my blog, and no matter what u think.. Its gonna be what it is always..

Here comes the rain again.. Falling from the stars

Yes, this post is about the weather.. (that indirectly means I have nothing better to do). Mumbai, the city of dreams, the city of bollywood, the city of free daily massages twice a day in local trains, the city of lots and lots of people, The city where u can get into a completely non moving traffic jam at 11 in the night while getting back from office.. And now the city of erratic monsoon.. First it begins late.. Then it looks likes its ended every few days... And just when u think you can keep the rain gear back where it is for the rest of the year, there's a huge downpour... right in the middle of when you decide to go for a walk.. But, I'm not complaining, I love the rain. It not only does wonders for my skin and keeps the horrible, terrible sun away, but also is perfect way to spend lazy sunday afternoons (actually right now, no afternoons) I love how the rains announce their arrival.. Lightning, Thunder, showers and a strong breeze that helps carry that smell of wet mud/dust (which everyone says they love but I get suffocated by).. Aaah, sweet relief from the sweltering heat (which makes you feel you've been put in an oven to bake along with a baking dish full of water) I love waking up in the morning to the pitter patter of rain falling on the scaffolding put by the row house below (Though sometimes it sounds like a hailstorm). I love waking up to the hope that today will be a holiday.. The uncertainty of whether leaving on time will be of any use in case I don't reach at all.. I love how every tree leaf is cleaned off all the dust and grime of a whole year.. I love driving in pouring rain.. Where u can hardly see the vehicle or in fact the road ahead.. (minus the fact that everything slows down and the huge traffic jam again) I love watching the face of the completely ignorant person sitting next to me in the bus when water falls on them from the AC vent :D But this time monsoon hasn't been kind to me.. Working in a building that has got no windows is really a cruel way to punish someone who loves the monsoon.. Really all association I have with the outdoors is the varying light that filters through the skylight, and the sound of rain.. And not one day have I been able to take a day off because of the rains.. Really sad.. Railways, why do u still work? And since the place where I stay is always troubled by more rain than anywhere else, everyday I'm plagued by calls.. When the hell are u gonna leave? if u leave late today i will not pick u up from station/ checknaka.. You will have to stand in the long winding queue for the rick or walk home.. Its raining so much here.. Earlier when the client used to ask me whether I'll be allowed home for leaving from office so late, I used to find it really absurd.. How can my family keep me outside the door at midnight? Now I think that I really won't be allowed in.. especially when its pouring rain..

Fading Away..

The obituary page in the newspaper always haunts me.. A whole page dedicated to the dead, what for? For the living to remember them for that one moment their eyes rest on that picture? They intrigue me more if its an untimely death.. how did they die? Was it an accident? Was it some incurable sickness that consumed them? Why don't they mention it somewhere? So we can say oh so sad..

There are so many who definitely don't deserve to die so soon.. But then again who deserves to die?

has a 90 year old person lived life long enough to die? No.. that person is probably the favouritest person in the world for his great grand child..

Has a Kid who hasnt had the misfortune of living his life lucky to die young? Nope.. he had so much to do in his life.. which he missed out on living. But who gets affected by his death? He's dead anyway.. Its only the living that are stuck.. With memories.. And longings..

its the living who cry their eyes out, keep consoling each other, keep remembering death anniversaries and crying their eyes out all over again.. does the person who's dead even know what happens after he leaves? Does he just go poof once he's stopped living? Or does he suddenly materialize on a boat like some mythological story with other dead people.. Waiting to be transported to another land/ sea/ cloud/ underground? if two people who know each other die on the same day, will they meet up on that boat ? Probably not right? That boat must be getting pretty crowded every minute.. With the number of people dying per minute.. And the boatman like the ac bus conductor must be telling chala chala pudhe chala.. Load jyada hot aahet.. Gadi pudhe jaanar naahi.. :P

Some obituarys catch my eye cuz of the sheer stupidity.. recent one being she died after suffering from a life threatening illness.. Well obviously.. That's the reason she's dead.. It was grave enough (pun intended)

mallu's will know what I'm talkin about next.. A page of tala's. All old people mostly wearing white with gray hair/ no hair, and more than a page dedicated to them in a paper that's all of 6. Really do they have nothing else to print?

Have you ever wondered why only on anniversaries of natural calamities/ terror attacks/other mass death incidents there's an update on how the living are coping? And how the lucky/unlucky people who survived are living? Now cuz the number of such events has increased considerably, that yearly update is restricted to a max of 2 years..

And journos have no heart is it? Like the guy who was in coma after the 26/7 deluge in mumbai.. He recovered after 4 years.. He's now able to move his fingers.. This happened somewhere around january and we got the update only in july.. Only on its anniversary.. That news isn't news enough unless its time is it.. Or is print space booked? Like only that day in the year can a person affected by the deluge important enough for the first page??

Another thing that amazes me is the use of puns by some either ignorant or very intelligible journos. Sample this.. The family was plunged into sorrow- after a lady decided to jump from the top of her building with her kids. Get it?

so why death now? Cuz its been the third one this week.. All people who may or may not have deserved to die And because I cannot think of anything else to write.. Atleast when I die I don't want people to think oh so sad.. She had just started living.. Ahem, I've been doing so for more than 2 decades and I'm pretty content with where I am now... I have no regrets and even if u want to remember me once a year through the newspaper, Please put a decent pic and a propah english remembrance... And don't feel bad that my dreams are only partly achieved.. I'm so lazy that dying sounds much easier than all the effort I need to put in.. And till that obituary named after me comes on my anniversary I will continue to fade away.. Slowly and gradually...

Guilt vs Opportunity

So its official, I'm a dud.. N I can't/ won't ever do anything to make it right. I'm really bad at interviews. I sway to whatever the interviewer says... And I answer everything wrong at interviews.. But then again people like my energy.. It doesn't mean I jump around but I do manage to make people laugh.. No I'm not a joker, but it evidently seems so to them..

And I made it.. I now have two in hand and a lot more confusion.. Not which to join.. That I'm clear of, but whether the first will let me go in time.. Life is so fucked up right? And it all seems to happen only to me.. You feel guilty that you are leaving the former when they try to convince me that my future is where I'm at and that if you were really guilty then you wouldn't have joined in the first place.. What do they think 4 months at home was not reason enough that I would want to be occupied? And the rem wasn't all that bad...

Thanks to me, our age now has been cursed again.. That we are irresponsible.. That we are always looking out for brand value and not passion for work.. But don't they understand I do have passion.. I am passionate about working for a brand.. And that's what's kept me moving...

Didnt they understand all the subtle hints I dropped.. The swollen eyes on my first day, the second day and subsequently every single monday... All the effects of crying out my eyes over the weekend.. I don't normally cry but I couldn't think of anything more upsetting than turning out like someone in that place..

Couldn't they have just read my blog to see how dissatisfied I am? That I believe I deserve more? Much more?? isn't it their responsibility to keep a tab on their employees... Even if they checked Facebook, they'd have realised that I haven't added anyone of them as friends.. Not until I put in my papers atleast..

What's the use of not letting me go if I don't want to continue working for them.. Atleast I'm tryin my best to complete the current thing.. If I could justify running away I would have a long time ago.. But that's not who I am and I don't think ever can be..

And still I can't/won't ever be able to feel not guilty for leaving them at such a time.. A time when they are in dire need of staff.. Is it my fault that when I do work whether I like it or not I do it the best I can? So people believe I like what I'm doing? But what's the use of prolonging it when what I want eventually is to leave? I know what ur thinking... Doesn't she ever tire of justifying herself.. Apparently not.. And I'm selfish I agree.. But its my life we are talking about.. And ill do anything to make it easier.. There I go again..

But I admit it was scary.. I almost accepted it.. And I had started getting comfortable.. When Discomfort is the only way you know to live, getting comfortable was extremely discomforting (is that even a word?) like they say.. Pain is one way you know your alive (drama queen <<)

So am I happy now? Well no.. I can never be right? I'm still dissatisfied cuz this didn't come up when I wanted it to.. But is late better than never? U never know..

You can Network Anywhere!

Networking, networking and networking isnt that all what life is about?? (No I haven't watched dirty picture yet.. But vidya balan did so many promo's that I already feel like I've watched it a hundred times..)

Yes, Life... just a huge networking platform... Its all about who u know and how u can use that knowing.. Whether as references or as stepping stones to reach a better place.. Like Peter Keating in Fountainhead .. He got that right at a very early age.. Networking and using that network while simultaneously trying to hide that he doesn't know any stuff he's working on.. Afterall its only once your boss realises that you are, in essence, not doing much work or bringing on additional value to the organization that you are in deep shit.. Its another matter that Peter Keating was not smart enough to try and avoid that shit.. (I'm really hoping that I do avoid that shit, its been some time since I've been feigning stuff)

On another note, Kahlil Gibran says to always give without expecting gratitude. Yes I read him.. Though it doesn't mean I understand.. Neither do I agree with him for most stuff.. He says a tree gives fruits, does it ask for payment for it?? but doesn't economics apply everywhere? A plant as we learnt in science in god knows what primary, give fruits and flowers for the only reason that birds and insects are attracted and help in its polination process.. And natures got its own marketing and branding too, giving marketers a run for their money.. A fruit/flower is colourful/smelly all because it wants to attract birds and insects.. So quid pro quo prevails always.. Maybe not adequately but its always there..

Like when your in that bus u spend most your life in.. 2 hours sitting next to someone is reason enough that you need to know that person right? Even if that person is desperately trying to read and get to the end of a particularly interesting book.. and if that person is listening to extremely loud music, it makes perfect sense to ask them who are you.. Or even worse keep talking about yourself.. Even if that person has to keep removing her headphones to hear what you are saying.. You are Afterall paying a premium to travel in the bus, and you spend most of your life in it too.. Toh vasooli karneka na??

Sometimes I wonder, what do people think when I sit next to them in the bus? Do I actually look so gullible? Do people think that such networking on the bus will actually be of any use? I even got a job offer that way, it was another thing that I dint follow it up.. And No, I don't walk around with a board hanging on my head that says I want another one... Maybe its my face.. :P

There's also the type that absolutely has no shame in asking your phone number, hello? I know you for hardly an hour.. And u expect me to comply? Its a completely different matter that I do comply.. Cuz I being naive hadn't thought of a way to wiggle out of such a situation.. Yes, it answers my initial question doesn't it?? Gullible.. Extremely.. (but I have learnt my lesson now.. Do u expect me to get burnt and still go and put my hand in hot tea again?? How predictable of you!)

Some of these people are actually good.. They take ur number and forget about you.. Then there are Those who start by sending you dumb ass pjs (worse than the pakya ke jokes on the BEST screen.. Yeah there are worse ones) and then call up and ask whether their sending Those pjs is alrite.. You pick up the phone thinking what harm can a guy older than your father do.. And then you are stuck.. They keep calling you trying to improve their network and you keep ignoring their calls, but they simply don't get it.. They keep calling keep texting, until they finally realise its futile.. (I'm hoping that happens soon)

See nothing happens unless it is to benefit some one in some way.. Like the yearly benevolence that comes over me.... cleaning my wardrobe and my wallet, giving away stuff I've never used and probably will never ever use again to people who need them more than my wardrobe does. Or my wallet...
Again I have my own benefits in that
(i finally have place to fill up again :)) This time I'm also hoping that the universe notices I could do much more if I had much more... I am a one track mind arent i? Back to where I started from.. get me a job someone!!

The Destiny of Choice

(this I know is very rare, my second poem to get published in 10 years..:)inspired by Ayn Rand)

Sometimes I wonder what is it that keeps me going, living my life as a lie, as I wander aimlessly through the streets..

Is it the mask I put on every morning? Is it the pain that doesn't let me sleep every night?

Is it the love I have lost? Or is it the love I may gain perchance tomorrow?

Is it the happiness of the people around me? Or is it the anger and jealousy I have against them?

Is it the choice I will be making today? Is it the decision I will be taking tomorrow?

Is it the hope that I can get my life back? Is it the hope that you will let me take it back?

No! I can't let you take control.. it is written you say.. So what? Can't I write my own?

Isn't what I've written so far enough to lead the way? Why don't you let me have my way?? Is my way not mine to choose?

Every man has the power to choose but no power to escape the necessity of choice, but here I am waiting for that moment when I do have to choose...What did I do wrong that you are giving me no choice?

Did I expect too much? Was it all unearned? Is there still something that I need to get done before I move on? I want answers.. Answer me now!! My scream echoes across the emptiness, the vastness of it all....

And there across this parched land in the dark night sky, is a face, a face that smiles, not kindly, not in contempt but in silent mockery. It says I have no power to choose unless that choice is bestowed upon me..

A face that smiles in silent mockery that absolutes are something I will always have to choose between..

A face that smiles in silent mockery that my life is not mine to choose, not mine to live...

Do I have to accept it? Do I have to take it lying down? Won't that be my defeat? I who thought that my life was mine to make?

Is that what you want to see me become? A person defeated by his own choice?

A person defeated by his own life? A person defeated by you? Another person in your long list of triumphs?

A person living a bigger lie than I'm living now? A person who will hate everything for the rest of his life??
A person who will never be able to overpower you?

Then again you don't give me no choice..

Oh but I will.. One day, overpower you.. Maybe not as soon as I hoped I would, but you will be defeated someday.. Some way...

Until then my life is yours to live.. Yours to keep..

Another new year, another Round-Up..

So, that’s another year. A whole year after the initiation of soul-searching. Time for another roundup ie.

1. Confusion is here to stay. It started midyear just after there was nothing to learn from textbooks anymore and by my reckoning is it isn’t going anywhere for the next few years.

2. I hate working in Mumbai. There’s hardly any time to do anything else other than work, wait for that stupid AC bus that decides you ditch you every second day, wait for a crowded train to try and get in cuz that stupid AC bus decided to ditch you, and by then you are so exhausted that all you crave for is your pillow and blanket. Oh and did I forget to mention that Sundays are no respite from it all too? Only maybe travel…

3. People expect great things from you, like mentoring juniors, leadership, and responsibility for a meager salary. Something that doesn’t compensate 7 day a week work and all that travel.

4. I have no hope to join an organization that takes pity on its employees and gives them ultra portable/ thin/ at least manageable laptops. 10 kilos is my cross to bear until things change (That’s what it feels like).

5. Leadership skills are not something that you are taught in classes. While everything else from teamwork to mentoring, smartness to auditing may be something that I am born with, leadership is something I haven’t breached so far and that is the main reason for my downfall.

6. No matter how hard you try, one day you will end up writing emails that you once laughed at when others wrote you such ones in the past.

7. If you earn, it’s obvious you are going to spend it so bad that you yearn for the month to get over again. There can never be enough shoes, bags and clothes in your closet. Shopping once in two weeks is what I’ve reduced it to now, that too considering the amount of time I’m around shops that are open.

8. Dissatisfaction is here to stay as well. You are going to be dissatisfied for the rest of your life if you’re where I’m at. Let’s just hope this too will pass... And that you guys are never where I’m at…

9. Allergies don’t happen when you’re finding a reason to stay at home from work… They are mainly just to annoy you during exams, when you wake up with your fingers swollen i.e. and now I’ve determined what I’m really allergic to - Stress... Really its doctor certified.

10. I haven’t done anything that I’m proud of in my life yet, and it’s really annoying to lie to all interviewers what are my biggest achievements in life. The first place that didn’t ask me this dumb question is where I finally got the job.

11. There is no professionalism in any office. All offices are prone to a minimum of 3 hours of small talk/ gossip and I don’t like it.

12. I understand jokes that others don’t. And don’t understand ones that others do. (Am I crazy.. yes, definitely)

13. No matter how long you will your phone to ring, whether for interview calls or hoping that someone telepathically thinks of you and calls you up, it never happens. The phone has never ever been under your control and never will be, unless Matilda happens to you…

14. I’m still not over him, I never will be and I hate him right now, and I will continue to hate him for the rest of my life (If you are reading this and you know who I mean is you, I so hope you curl up and die right now.. No don’t, maybe a slow painful death is waiting for you)

15. And finally, I hate it when I lose control, I absolutely hate it that I’m now going where Life is taking me, and I’m going along with life just because I have no other option. Mind you I still haven’t accepted and that I’m complying with all of it under protest (Just too much of Customs, I know)

That’s it of 2011. If you found this list boring and unreadable just hope that the Mayan prophecy comes true and you won’t have another roundup at the end of this one…
Anywho, Happy Suffering guys...